Even though he promised to stop doing Mario Balotelli things after last weekend's strip club incident, Mario Balotelli has done another Mario Balotelli thing. The Man City striker was reportedly asked to leave Manchester's Trafford Centre after refusing to take off his hood, in violation of mall rules. Balotelli went…

Allowing himself to be photographed kissing his own mirror image? Check. Being hand-fed popcorn by his movie-star girlfriend at the Super Bowl? Check. Buying Us Weekly at the airport? Check. Just when you think A-Rod has done enough to show the world his complete lack of self-awareness, he keeps right on kissing his…

Illustration by Matthew Craven. Lots more on his website.

Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!!

That was quick. Adrian Wojnarowski is reporting that Jeremy Lin is headed for a stint with the Erie Bayhawks, along with Jerome Jordan. Lin apparent failed to impress the Knicks' front office with his 1.8 PPG in five appearances, and with Baron Davis' return looming, Lin looks like a long shot to return. Oh well, it…

Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!!

Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!

Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!

Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!

Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!